Belinda

And so then, everything changed...It was December 2008 when I went in for my yearly exam...I also had a singular unusual symptom that had occurred 2 months prior that I was eager to tell my doctor about...little did I know that my life would soon be upside down. The symptom was an outcry of my body...it was trying to expel a 4 cm tumor that had invaded my cervix during a 14 month span. I was 46 yrs old and facing a radical hysterectomy...I was to have my uterus, ovaries, cervix and certain lymph nodes removed. At 46 yrs of age I had never had an abnormal Pap test and I have never been diagnosed with HPV. I had always been healthy...this was not supposed to happen because cancer happens to other people...right? Until you realize that YOU ARE other people...we ALL are "other" people.

I was married for a very short time at a very young age. I divorced and became a single parent. I made the decision to not date until my twin sons were grown. I knew it was more important to focus in on my sons than anything else. My dating life was on hold for almost 20 yrs. My main goal in life was to raise two healthy, good, faith-filled, law abiding men and to make sure that they would graduate from college...they did, the first in my family in many generations...mission accomplished.

Now, what? It was a very strange time in history...my sons had just left for college, my family had just sold our house and we were to move to Orlando and then 9-11 hit. There were no jobs to be had in Orlando after the tragedy of September 11th. My mother suggested becoming a Flight Attendant and so I did.

During this new chapter in my life, my sons were in college, we moved, I stared a new career, I met a man and fell in love. Life was new and exciting and there were only good times ahead...cancer was not even a blip on the screen and especially a cancer and a virus that I had never heard of before.

So as I sat in my doctor's office that December morning, the possibility that my symptom was due to cancer was non-existent. I was happy and content and enjoying my new life that had begun just a few years prior.

My doctor does not have patients, she has "sisters, daughters, wives, girlfriends, moms, aunts...women". She becomes your friend. She gets to know you. She asked me to tell her about this symptom and when I described it to her, for just a split second, I saw something in her face and then she recovered...it was within seconds of beginning the exam that she was calling for a biopsy kit. She kept repeating, "you've never had a abnormal Pap? You've never had an abnormal Pap." As stated earlier, I had never had an abnormal Pap.

Biopsy kit? What? What's going on? tumor? Polyp? What? C.a.n.c.e.r??? My head was reeling. Something was said about x rays, internal and external for next week, but no...my doctor wanted me to have the x rays NOW! After having completed the x rays, I sat back in the examination room quietly and nervously...I could hear whispers and hushed tones outside the door and I just couldn't believe how life had so dramatically changed...within minutes.

My doctor came back into the room to talk and to explore further what her suspicions were at this point. She also wanted me to call my mom. I could dial the phone, but I couldn't speak...I just couldn't find the words or my voice...through tears, the words could not come out...I handed the phone to my doctor...life had just changed...again...

After waiting that dreaded week for results to return...The phone rang in the morning, December 11th, 2008..."Belinda, your biopsy results have come back and it's malignant...you have cervical cancer, adenocarcinoma of the cervix and you will need a radical hysterectomy. I'm so sorry."

What happens now? What does this mean? How did this happen?

With many phone calls to family and friends...talks and appointments with a Gynecological Oncologist, test to be run and plans to be made, I had surgery on Feb. 11th, 2009. Cancer and body parts removed (early menopause sets in)...I started down a path of questions and very few answers. It was during this time of searching that I stumbled across a handful of wonderful people dedicated to informing the public about the truths as they pertain to HPV and cervical cancer.

I was also learning that I and countless others were coming to the realization that no one was talking about HPV and cervical cancer...but why? The stigma...the stigma of having an STI? Why should that keep women and men from talking about something that could save lives?! Well, that just didn't make sense to me so I decided I would talk and talk and talk...and talk.. with the support of such wonderful organizations like Tamika and Friends I have been empowered, blessed and privileged to speak to others and to share my story about a cancer and a virus no one wants to talk about, but if we don't talk, we don't learn and if you don't learn...how can you take steps to stay alive? And that's what it's all about, right?

In the time that I have spoken out on this most personal and intimate of cancers, I have met so many wonderful woman of all ages...courageous young woman who have had their ability to have children halted. I have met new moms with the presence of cancer. I have met women who are HIV positive and who now must add HPV and it's potential consequences to their list. I have met young women battling the repetitive procedures that they must endure as this virus continues to wreck havoc on their bodies. I have met women who have turned their stories into outreach programs that have wrapped around the globe...I have met blessings upon blessings...who could have known that out of something so scary, so foreboding, so many blessings could fall?

My life has taken more turns since that day of diagnosis, but I am healthy... and learning and growing. I am alive and I am here to share and to tell and to hopefully help others learn. There should never be a reason why we should not talk about cervical cancer and HPV because when we talk we learn and when we learn we live...it's just that simple!

Life can and does go on after cervical cancer, but it's never the same...life has changed for good and bad...that's just the truth..life has changed yet again and one more time I find myself staring all over, but with hopefully a newer and brighter perspective on life and hopefully I have become a better person.

So, Ladies, go to your doctor and get your Pap...talk to your doctor about HPV and cervical cancer...moms and dads talk to your children...know your body...take care of yourself...and never be afraid to ask questions, to learn and to talk to and share with others...talking could save a life...and that life could be your own! Blessings!