Paige

Hi my name is Paige. About 2 years ago I started spotting during intercourse. I thought nothing of it. My yearly Pap Test was coming up.  They didn't say anything was wrong so I didn't say anything about the spotting. About 6 months after that the pain started. It was just mild; nothing that Midol couldnt handle but about a year after that (December 2008) it was getting so bad that I was taking about 8 Midols or more a day. My yearly wasn't for another 2 months so I waited. I couldn't take a chance that insurance wouldn't pay for it and I was living payday to payday.
 
Well when February came around I went to my doctor. Theydid a biopsy and it came back cancer stage III. From there my whole life just stopped. That is a word you dont ever want to hear even at 37. About 3 weeks after that I started on radation and chemotherapy for 7 weeks. Two times I had to go in for blood. It is was not easy at all. I wouldn't wish this on anyone at all.
 
Well it has been 6 months now and I am clean but not happy. Cancer changed me. You would think for the good but for the worst. I have done some things in my life I am not proud of and I was thinking that this is my payback. It can't go away that easy. I go to bed every night thinking it is going to came back and this time I will not be able to beat it. I have 3 kids that their father will not let me see or talk to. Going through cancer has made me miss them even more than before, if that is even possible. I live in fear all of the time. I no longer have intercourse because it is way to painful. When will I ever feel like myself again? My joints hurt in my legs and knees. It has to be from the radiation. I just want my life back.