Brandie

Brandie Rose Courtad 1976 - 2007
Nicole’s tribute to her mother Brandie.
www.brandierose.org

My name is Nicole and I lost my mom to cervical cancer. I had just turned 10 yrs. old when she was first diagnosed. I don’t even remember hearing the word cancer for a long time. I didn’t know what radiation or chemotherapy meant. I just knew that she was sick and always tired, and we didn’t do the things we use to do.

What I know now is she had many rounds of chemo and many radiation treatments, and in April 2006 she went to the Mayo Clinic and had surgery. I remember how frightened I was to see her in the hospital, but she kept telling me that everything would be alright and that I shouldn’t worry.

She came home from the Mayo Clinic in June, after a few weeks she seemed to be back to her old self. She was even able to drive me places and was able to go back to work a few weeks later. Life was normal again, but only for about 6 months when the cancer came back. Mom started another round of chemotherapy the day after Christmas. During this treatment she lost all of her hair. She was so sad because she always had long and beautiful hair that people would admire. Even without hair, she was the most beautiful mom I had ever seen.

This was a horrible, horrible time; my mom suffered so much. I can remember lying in bed night after night listening to her scream out in pain. I learned later that the only pain medication that worked for her would make her sleep and she wanted to be awake. She suffered through the pain so that she could be with those she loved as much as possible, for as long as she could.

She finished her last chemotherapy treatment in March 2007. A month later I was told that the doctors couldn’t do any more to help Mom and that she may not be with us much longer.

On the morning of July 2, 2007, I hugged and kissed my sleeping Mom for the last time. She passed away a few hours later, just moments before I returned home. My beautiful, wonderful mom was only 30 years old. I have never been able to find the words to describe how hard this was, I truly felt as if someone reached in and ripped out my heart.

Even now, it doesn’t seem possible that my mom is gone forever! I am grateful I have so many people that love and care for me, bu I will miss her every moment for the rest of my life and will always wish she was still here with me.

I know that my mom was worried I would get cervical cancer when I grew up. So in January my Grandma took me to the doctor to get the HPV vaccine, Gardasil. I would encourage all young women to be vaccinated so that someday others will not have to go through what we went through, what my mom went through.

My mom is in heaven now with Jesus and is no longer in pain, and I know that she is happy that I am protected from getting cervical cancer when I grow up.